I frequently have conversations with other men about all things manly, because this a subject that obviously I care about. In this modern time of diminishing masculinity–which is accompanied by and fueled by the masculinization of women (which I distinguish from the rise of women’s rights)–men do not think much about masculinity. Add to this the facts that most men today in the Black community are not raised by men, do not exist in spaces dominated by men, and the conversation having been dominated by women–we have lost the definition to the point that any woman who decides to can call herself a “man”. Plainly put, most men can’t even define masculinity, let alone idealize or live up to what it is.
And there are levels to this thing, my friends. As the late great AH Maslow attempted to demonstrate with his “model of dominance hierarchy”, most of you know it as the “alpha male/beta male” thing (also terribly misunderstood), not all men are created equal. No one likes to admit this, but there are weak men, strong men, lower men, higher men, men of low value, men of high value, and so forth. All men like to think of themselves as strong, high vibrational, intelligent, respectable, respected, attractive, powerful, valuable, etc., but the truth is, this is a very small minority of men. Unlike the women, who can get away with *calling* themselves “beautiful” and “strong”–declaring something we are not can be very painful and humiliating, even dangerous, if we are not in our own lanes. From the time all men reach the age of responsibility, all men of all races, ethnic groups and social classes are in a competition for power, wealth, influence, dominance, and resources. I have a theory which is quite unpopular: The American Black Man has relegated himself to the lowest wrung on the socioeconomic ladder because we have checked out of the race (which is a homonym for ethnicity and the competition we are in with other races). We will address this theory in another set of articles, but let’s stick with today’s article. Every man is in a competition with other men for power, and when he is not deeply engaged in this competition, he joins the ranks of the Last Man, which we will discuss in another article as well.
Which leads me to the topic of the day. If a man does desire more for himself, if he wants to be an Alpha, wants the beautiful women, the respect of other men, he wants the spoils of economic war against the competition–how can he get those things? Many of us did not get these lessons from our fathers. Perhaps our father wasn’t around. Or maybe he was a weaker man (very difficult to accept). Perhaps he simply didn’t know how to do so, and he couldn’t teach you. They definitely don’t teach this in school. Motivational speakers and preachers claim to teach these things, but they are mostly ineffective. (More on this another time) We always tell each other to “Level up!” but how many people really know how to Level up?
Obviously, I can’t teach this in one article. I’d like to introduce the mindset for the art of becoming a higher male, and in upcoming articles we will tackle this a little at a time. Please do not just read and share this article. Take notes, make yourself reminders, subscribe to my YouTube channel, and we will try our best to impart this knowledge as much as possible.
- Understand the 3Bs of the Singles Marketplace. Body. Brains. Bank Account. We are not all born with light eyes, 6 feet tall, and big dicks. You know this. But the 3Bs are adjustable. These 3 things we aren’t born with, and have FULL control over. By stepping up our game with the 3Bs, we increase our value in the eyes of women, regardless of how tall you are, how light skinned you be, and how small your dick is (just kidding. you might want to master the art of eating pussy or investing in some dick pills LOL). But seriously, there is no excuse for any man to not have an attractive frame, to be able to speak with some intelligence, have some wisdom, and money in the bank. ESPECIALLY if you live in America, the wealthiest country on the planet. Trust me, we will be discussing this concept in great depth. Bottom line–start working out, put down the liquor bottle, weed, and tobacco, stop supersizing your meals. Start reading more than you watch and listen–unless you are listening to lectures, audiobooks, and any other sources of knowledge. Fill that brain before emptying the mouth. And learn to manage your money better, develop some pain tolerance to hard work and discipline. Learn to invest, save, and grow the money you do take in. All of these things matter to women, and all of these things will make other men respect you. If you are one of these dudes on the internet bitching and moaning about why women won’t give you the time of day–this mindset alone is the solution to your gripes. Dedicate yourself to one year of leveling up in this category, I guarantee your life next year will be lovely.
- Understand the 5Ps of Masculinity. The 5Ps is my take on Jack Donovan’s “4Ps”, or the primary roles of men in society. Protect, Provide, Procreate, Profess, and Preside. All men are expected to fill some very important roles in society, and he must be able to do these things well. We protect our families, our brothers, others in our community, and especially–ourselves. There is no excuse that is acceptable. In order to be seen as real man, you better know how to fight, have the physical ability to do it, have the technical knowledge to get the job done, and the balls to stand up, take the blows, give em back, and finish your enemy off if need be. When was the last time you trained to fight? If someone attacked your woman right now–or 2 or 3 someones–can you defend her and punish the offenders yourself? If you can’t fight, you are less of a man. Sorry, not sorry. Secondly, as men we provide for our women, our children, and our families. When your woman comes to you and says the light bill needs to be paid, brother you better have the money. A man who can’t give his woman money for milk and diapers is less than a man. I have heard guys criticize his ex for leaving him because of hard times and getting with the next man. They even call the next man a “simp” or “Captain” for doing a better job. This will need a series, because especially in our community men feel more manly for letting his woman and children down yet look down on the men who take up the slack on his failure. If you are a man, you are expected to bring home the bacon. Everyone–your children, your elderly parents, even other men. You see, when you fail, the community must pick up the slack. NO excuses are acceptable. If you don’t bring home the bacon you are failing in this role. And here is one more thing about the second P: Even women you are no longer with are “your women”. She isn’t sleeping with you anymore. But she is the mother of your child. If she’s hungry, your child is hungry. If you think this woman has no respect for you for letting her down–wait until your children grow up. There is no pain and insult worse than your own child saying, “My father is unreliable and weak.” Third P is Procreate, short for Pursue, Procreate, Propose, Propagate. Men are the initiators of the relationship between himself and his women. That means you cannot be shy. You must know how to attract and appeal to women. You must be more proficient than other men at getting the girl, because remember–this is a competition with other men. Too many guys are angry that they fall short at this. They say things like, well they aren’t choosing regular guys like me and these women are fat, got other children, blah blah blah quack quack quack. But the bottom line is–she isn’t choosing you. The solution shouldn’t be to criticize the women. The solution is to become what women want. Now you don’t have to. You could stay the same and expect to get what you want. But you are in for a lifetime of discontent if you do. We also know how to satisfy our women. That requires mastery of the art of sex. It takes more than a big dick to accomplish it. You must know your way around a woman’s body. You must know how to satisfy her, where her erogenous zones are, which strokes gives her the most pleasure, how long to do it, when to speed up, when to slow down. Any man who can blow his woman’s mind in the bedroom is going to have a good experience in that relationship. But there are simply too many men who cannot, and that’s why your woman is giving you hell. It ain’t “blowing her back out”–you been watching too many porn videos and listening to too many fatherless babies talk. Get this skill, and watch your relationships improve instantly. Anyway, it is also more than orgasms and mindgasms–real men, build large and vigorous families. Sure, American culture no longer values large families. But this is one of the reasons why masculinity is at an all time low. Men all around the planet take pride in their children; your bachelorhood will be over before you know it, and as you age, your quality of life depends greatly on your progeny. One day you will be an old man, and your manhood will be measured not by how much ass you tapped or what cars you drove–but by the children and grandchildren you created. Half of these guys out here only see children as mouths to feed and another bill taking away from your hoes and toys. Manhood. Don’t be in your 30s still holding onto boyish narcissism. And don’t shy away from having children, as one day you will realize that the true precious pearls of the earth are the children you leave behind when you are no longer here. Due to space, we will go into details at another time about the other two Ps. Profess–you must have wisdom, you must be able to teach your woman, your children, and other men. Among the most valued men in society are those who lead others to success, and you cannot accomplish that if you lack the wisdom and knowledge and foresight to bring value to the lives of others. Matter of fact, when calling yourself an “Alpha” male consider this: In other to be Alpha, others must follow you, trust in your leadership, learn from you, and be lost without you. So ask yourself: Who follows my lead? Who put their lives in my hands? Who am I teaching on a regular basis? Who needs me to be here to do what I do? And finally, we Preside over our families. We always expect women to submit. But the question should be “Submit, to what?” You want a woman to follow you, but to where? What is your exact plan for the next 24 months of your life? Chances are, you don’t have one. As man, you must. But like the last plan, you must have wisdom, you must have knowledge, and you must project and demonstrate to others that you possess these qualities. And you see, when you do–you don’t have to demand submission. People recognize competence and vision. When you don’t have it, people don’t trust you. Fellas, we will have a HUGE convo about this one.
- Excuses are the tools of the incompetent, and those who use them accomplish nothing. As higher men, we are interested in only one thing: results. No one gives a damn why you failed. The only thing that matters is that you succeed. Weak men have reasons for failure, and they are good at blaming everyone and their momma: I’m fat because of diabetes, I’m broke because of the economy, these women ain’t choosing me because they’re shallow, I can’t get my program going because of racism. And so forth. If you are on the higher scale of masculinity, you must succeed at everything you do. Finish what you started. Excel at what you pursue. Give it 100% of your effort and focus. Study before you plan, measure twice, cut once, push all the way to the end, and if you fall short–take all the blame. Take an autopsy of why you failed, then do it again, but better. You must have this mindset.
- Amor Fati. Love fate. It’s Latin. The highest of men waste no time wishing the world was the way they want it. They accept it is as it is. They understand people as they are. They change what they can, and they work with the things that they cannot. Bitching and moaning, and whining and complaining is not manly at all. You will gain great power by seeing the world as it is, rather than waste time on if it’s not how you think it should be or how you want it to be. You can’t change the world and people, but you can change yourself. This must be at the center of everything you see for the rest of your life.
- Life Alchemy. Alchemy is the pseudoscience of turning regular materials into gold. Of course, you can’t. But you must become a master of taking every situation, taking life as it is–and getting exactly what you want out of it. You must be a Magician: I want to make $100K, and before you know it–you’re making six figures. The question is, how can I do this? First off, you need a teacher. Want to be a doctor? Find a doctor, medical school, etc., and ask them to show you what to do. You can learn anything on your own, but you cut down the learning curve by having someone who has done it show you. A teacher, a mentor, a guide. Secondly, you must have a plan to get what you want. Back to the doctor thing, go to college. Stop at nothing, let nothing stop you, get that degree. Then go to medical school. And so forth. But what about money, you ask? Go visit a financial aid office, and ask them. Thirdly, you need the right mindset to make it happen. See the last two items. As an alchemist, you make things appear out of thin air. We will surely discuss this, as it is a superpower.
- Self-reliance. Men are self-reliant. The buck stops with us, because we are the ones that others come to for guidance and strength. This means that we must be the one who is the backbone. It is a simple concept, but not easy to do. It takes strength of character, stoic resolve, a sense of responsibility (meaning we don’t rely on others to do what needs to be done), and a King’s mindset. Remember the idea of being an Alpha male? If you run this shit–you ask no one for permission, but you also don’t need to turn to others to get things done. While it’s true that you may need advisors and foot soldiers, as the King of the Pridelands (think Mufasa from Lion King)–what you want done, gets done, no one can stop you, no one is needed to make it happen.
- Become attractive. Jim Rohn once said, if you want to attract a great salary/great job, become an attractive person. You must be what you want to have. Want a raise? Be the person who deserves the raise. Want a girl who is a 9 or 10? Become the guy a 9 or 10 wants to be with. These motivational gurus are always talking about “asking the universe” (yuck) for stuff. But if you are a higher human being–a Superman–you don’t have to ask for a thing. Dave Chappelle doesn’t need to ask Netflix for $50 mil, he is the guy who *commands* $50 mil. Floyd Mayweather never had to ask PPV for hundreds of millions–as the greatest pound for pound fighter on the planet, he is worth that money. You don’t get what you deserve because it’s fair, my brothers. You get what you deserve because you DESERVE it. If you don’t get what you deserve, it’s because you don’t deserve it. Painful to hear, but it’s true. Everything you have in life, you earned because by design, you positioned yourself to have it, good or bad. Want something better? Then do what needs to be done to *deserve* it. Education, skills, reputation, hard work–whatever it requires, do it.
- Look good, smell good, sound good. Never underestimate the power of sexual energy. Some of y’all might cringe at this, but (remember, I see the world as it is, not as I think it should be) when you learn to become seductive–you tend to get what you want. People are drawn to you, people like you, people believe you, people want to give you want you desire. Male and female. You must learn to harness sexual energy, and use it to your advantage. Men are even drawn to attractive men. Doesn’t mean they want stick him in the ass–men simply are not exempt from being drawn to another man’s beauty. Think of our heroes–actors, athletes, politicians, leaders and champions of the people. Are they all or not attractive men? Ali. Obama. Malcolm X. Huey Newton. Denzel Washington. Sugar Ray Leonard. Michael Jordan. Minister Louis Farrakhan. You must present well. Be well-groomed. Speak with strength, confidence, energy, positivity. Avoid anti-seductive behavior: Negativity, insecurity, doubtfulness. We will certainly tackle this in depth as well.
I’m sure this article has hit 2,000 words by now, so look out for part II. Hopefully, this has whet your appetite for more. Please subscribe, and share this article! Thank you for visiting my blog!