Category Archives: Slap-yo-baby-momma-it’s-so-good (only for my readers) Secret Recipes

Red Velvet Cheesecake

Okay, so I’ve been saving these recipes. I’m not much of a photographer, and I have poor time-management skills for anything besides work… so the articles almost never get uploaded.

I had originally committed myself to only putting up recipes I have made and tried, but this just looked too good to pass up. Maybe one day I’ll throw this one together. But until then, enjoy!

And if you ever get around to doing any of mine, please give feedback! Thanks for visiting my blog.

red velvet cheesecake

Red Velvet Cheesecake

Two (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, at room temperature
2/3 cup granulated white sugar
pinch of salt
2 large eggs
1/3 cup sour cream
1/3 cup heavy whipping cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 1/2 cups granulated white sugar
3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 large eggs, at room temperature
1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
1 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup (two 1-ounce bottles) red food coloring
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 teaspoons white vinegar

2 1/2 cups powdered sugar, sifted lightly to remove any lumps
Two (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, at room temperature
1/2 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 tablespoon vanilla extract

Prepare the cheesecake layer: Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Place a large roasting pan on the lower third rack of the oven. Place a kettle of water on the stove to boil. Spray a 9-inch spring form pan with nonstick spray and line the bottom with a round of parchment paper. Wrap a double layer of foil around the bottom and up the sides of the pan (you want to seal it so the water from the water bath doesn’t seep into the pan).

In a large bowl, use an electric mixer to mix the cream cheese- blend until it is nice and smooth and creamy. Mix in sugar and salt and blend for 2 minutes, scraping down sides of the bowl as needed. Add eggs, one at a time, blending after each addition. Finally, mix in sour cream, whipping cream and vanilla. Mix until smooth. Pour the batter into the prepared pan. Set the pan into the roasting pan in the pre-heated oven. Carefully pour the hot water from your kettle into the roasting pan (it will fill the pan surrounding the cheesecake).

Pour enough water so that there is about an inch of water coming up the foil along the sides of the cheesecake pan. Bake the cheesecake for 45 minutes. It should be set to the touch and not jiggle. Remove the cheesecake from the roasting pan and let it cool on a wire rack for at least an hour. When it has cooled, place the pan into the freezer and let the cheesecake freeze completely. This can be done in several hours- or overnight.

Prepare the cake layers: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour two 9-inch round metal baking pans (or spray with nonstick baking spray with flour). In a large bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt. Add eggs, oil, buttermilk, food coloring, vanilla and vinegar to the flour mixture. Using an electric mixer on medium-low speed, beat for 1 minute, until blended. Scrape sides and bottom of bowl with a rubber spatula. Beat on high speed for 2 minutes. Spread the batter evenly into the prepared pans, dividing equally. Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with a few moist crumbs attached. Let cool in pans on a wire rack for 10 minutes. Run a knife around the edge of the pans, then invert cakes onto a rack to cool completely.

Prepare the frosting: In a large bowl, using an electric mixer on medium-high speed, beat powdered sugar, cream cheese, butter and vanilla until it is smooth and creamy (do not over beat).

Assemble the cake: Place one cake layer into the center of a cake plate or platter. Remove the cheesecake from the freezer, take off the sides of the pan, and slide a knife under the parchment to remove the cheesecake from the pan. Peel off the parchment. Measure your cheesecake layer against the cake layers. If the cheesecake layer turns out to be a slightly larger round than your cake, move it to a cutting board and gently shave off some of the exterior of the cheesecake to get it to the same size as your cake layers. Place the cheesecake layer on top of the first cake layer. Place the 2nd cake layer on top of the cheesecake.

Frost the cake: Apply a crumb coat layer to the cake- use a long, thin spatula to cover the cake completely with a thin and even layer of frosting. Be sure to wipe off your spatula each time you are about to dip it back into the bowl to get more frosting (this way you won’t be transferring any red crumbs into the bowl of frosting). Don’t worry at this point about the crumbs being visible in the frosting on the cake. When your cake has a thin layer of frosting all over it, place it into the refrigerator for 30 minutes to “set” the frosting.

Once the first layer of frosting is set, apply the 2nd layer. Start by adding a large scoop of frosting onto the top of the cake. Use a long, thin spatula to spread the frosting evenly across the top and then spread it down the sides of the cake too. Because you applied a crumb-coat layer, you shouldn’t have any red crumbs floating around in the final frosting layer. Decorate, as desired. I recommend white chocolate shavings


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Spaghetti Sauce Blasphemy

I recently came across this article on “The Easiest(and Best) Tomato Sauce Recipe“. Yuck. I normally enjoy Yahoo’s articles, but who the hell comes up with some of this stuff? Sorry, Yahoo, but that didn’t even sound appetizing. And yes, I won’t waste good tomatoes trying-it-before-knocking-it.

A spaghetti sauce with only tomatoes, and onion and BUTTER (yes, you read that right:  butter) is freaking blasphemy! I know this and I’m not even Eye-talian!

Today, you can call me a “Negro-talian-pino”, because I am going to share my world-famous recipe, minus a few steps because asking me for my real recipes is like asking to see me take a shower. But I guarantee if you tweak it here and there, you will never use the canned/jarred crap again. And you might drive all the way to your momma’s house and slapping her because my version is going to be so much more superior.

Take notes, and Chef Boyardee, eat your heart out.

Mustafa Akamo’s World-Famous Spaghetti Sauce

  1. chop 2 – 3 lbs of tomatoes and simmer for 3 – 4 hours
  2. add OLIVE OIL, not butter. you choose the amount
  3. dice a large onion into very small pieces
  4. dice 1 each:  green pepper, red pepper, and yellow pepper
  5. dice 1 eggplant about the size of your hand
  6. chop a handful of garlic
  7. 2 cubes of vegetable bouillon
  8. oregano
  9. bay leaf
  10. black pepper
  11. during the 3rd hour, add one well-drained, chopped tomato, one chopped green pepper, and mushroom and meatballs, if you want them. Add salt if you need to (you probably won’t)
  12. The sauce is done when very thick and very little water collects at the top

The end. Now after grubbing, you have my permission to slap yo momma. LOL

Next time I make a batch, I’ll post pictures. Trust me, your local restaurant doesn’t have anything on this! Readers, if you do try it and love my recipe, please post a comment!

Thanks for visiting my blog.

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Filed under Slap-yo-baby-momma-it's-so-good (only for my readers) Secret Recipes