Um, yeah, I am a huge procrastinator. So I am into a bunch of stuff, always trying to change the world and chasing new endeavors and business ideas… and sometimes this blog doesn’t get the attention it deserves.
I get occasional emails asking when the new article will be out–or what the next article will entail (which is a sorta-way of asking me to hurry up and post a new article). I get it. But it still doesn’t change the fact that while I am terribly stricken with Adult ADHD, I occasionally get inspired to put something new up and I never know when it will strike. Now if you want to know when new content is uploaded right away, I implore you to go back to the main page and then look right —–> for the “Follow” button. Give us your email address and as soon as new content goes up, you’ll know right away. Simple, huh?
And one more thing. If you enjoy this or anything on this blog, please, please, please, share our address with friends and family. The more the merrier! Unless you plan to read my articles and then present my words if they were your very own. In that case don’t tell anyone; they’ll soon figure it out. LOL
I occasionally text myself some ideas while I’m out and about, or sitting on the toilet reflecting, or laying in bed thinking… with the intention of writing an article later. Doesn’t always happen. However, would you like to take a peek into what’s coming?
- you can tell a lot about a boy who has no father, or a grown man who had no Dad. I forgot where I was, but I noticed a guy on his cell phone telling some female that his baby’s momma didn’t know what she had, that he was a “good man” and she’d never find another one like him… and somewhere in that conversation he mentions that she called Child Support on him. Uh, yeah.
- absolute truth can be obtained mainly from two people: a man who is seriously angry at you, and a friend who truly loves you. Self explanatory
- greatest weakness? “honesty”. I recently ran into a young man I had interviewed for a job a while back (we didn’t hire him). He claimed to admire me and asked for my information and asked me to coach him into finding a good job with benefits. Such a flattering request! So, as a damage-control effort, he asked me why I had not hired him. He did nothing wrong, a pretty good kid–but there were candidates with more qualifications. He said that he had been asked by several interviewers the clichèd question, “What’s your greatest weakness?”–a question I never ask, as I find this a a degrading way to ask a candidate (who is supposed to be trying to impress me) to put himself down. My advice on how to answer? Tell him something positive, and how it backfired. My weakness is honesty. People ask for it, and they really don’t want it. So bosses ask for a true assessment, and then the get upset at the bad news. If you always want the brutal reality, Mr. Bossman–I’ll give it to you. If you want to be lied to, hire someone else…
- Pauline Black. girl meeting her father’s second wife for the first time. A singer from Ireland, who happened to be 1/2 Black, who was adopted and finally met her father’s widow. She paints a picture of a loving, strong Black man who is beat up by everyone around him, including the woman he loved, and kept from his daughter and died never knowing her. So many things to talk about with this.
- I’m not ready for your daughter. I recently ran into a Pakistani gentleman I knew 11 years ago. When I had broken up with my 4th wife, during Ramadan 2002, several members of my mosque and neighboring mosques–all male–had approached me offering to matchmake me with their daughters. Everyone knew my wife had left me with three small children, and I was in court fighting for the right to take the children to my mother in the Philippines because I was due to deploy to Iraq soon. Muslims are a crazy bunch, men try to find a good husband for their daughters, and when a “good” brother is available, the Dads swoop on him (often at the urging of Muslim mothers). Every Muslim man’s fear is that her daughter will marry a jerk, so they are very aggressive in convincing you to take their daughter. Anyway, this brother’s daughter was in Atlanta, and although I looked like a decent man, at the time I was fornicating, was very angry, and had low self esteem. I turned down this brother’s offer, although I did meet the daughter–who was beautiful. But I knew I was a crappy man at the time, and wouldn’t go any further. His daughter (who now reads this blog) would send me letters and music CDs and gifts for the children. I kept her at a distance for a good reason, and eventually deployed. By the time I returned, she had married a brother in Atlanta and according to her father, is miserable. Anyway, he asked me why I did not like his daughter, and I was forced to admit that I was spiritually not right and would have made a horrible son-in-law. I just wasn’t ready, and help with my children, a new house, or a beautiful woman was not going to get me right. Often brothers are in such a rush to have sex with these women they ignore the “No” signs from God and move forward with relationships they have no business entering.
- our OWN reparations. Why are we still begging the white man for stuff? I’m in a coffee shop reading a book, and this quasi-Black power negro approaches me with this “it’s all the white man’s fault” crap. I am a revolutionary, but there is a difference between fighting oppression and racism–from blaming the white man for our woes. Many of us are enslaved to the notion that we cannot succeed unless America bails us out. They’re not. We have all the tools we need to build our own reparations, and we should use them. Uncle Sam won’t do no more for us than Uncle Tom. It’s time to change our program, my brother.
- I’d write a shorter letter if I had the time. There is this thing about me, that my marriage are fine until my women try to take the lead. Sorry, but I am a mannish man–blame James Westray for that. Not saying that I’m a chauvinist, but I have to lead my relationships and if I am pushed in any direction against the plan (noticed I said “the” plan, not “my” plan), it’s not going to work. Did I mention that I have never proposed to a woman before? Wait, I have, but she said no. None of my marriages involved a proposal, my arm was twisted and I married under duress due to the threat of a break up. Anyway, I get women telling me I’m a hypocrit if I don’t make the decisions they want, I never did anything for you, I’m not as good as the last man, blah blah blah. But they spend the next 20 years trying to get back with me. Yeah I was that damned bad, huh? Well, one ex, who I recently had to knock off my Facebook, was pushing me for “closure”. I really hate giving it because it’s irrelevant two decades later, but I obliged. From what I remembered, I sent a really long email giving as much detail as I could remember about just facts, but not my perceptions. That’s crucial. Perception is what moves relationships, not facts. We had money, we took trips, the sex was good–but the feelings I had was that I was being used. In her mind, all was good. In my mind, it wasn’t. In that email I wrote the words, “I would have written a shorter letter, but I didn’t have the time” to gather my thoughts and recall what was underneath all those facts. Often we don’t take the time to really dissect and digest what’s going on in our marriages. The ones who do, who think what they feel before they say it, keep their marriages longer. When they don’t think, the wrong thing gets said and words stain hearts more permanently than bruises stain skin. You can’t take them back, not even 20 years later.
Alright, I have 189 emails saved in my phone and I am NOT fin to share all of them. So here is a glimpse of what’s to come, in no particular order. Thanks for visiting my blog.