Just some random thoughts about Father’s Day I jotted down. Some of us really look forward to this day with our children, some of us used to look forward to this day with our children, and then it is melancholy for many more…
You would be hard-pressed to find something more awesome than seeing a kid who is adored by his Daddy (including Stepdads). Because you know without a doubt that kid: 1. Will never go hungry, 2. Will most likely never see the inside of a police car (unless he’s on duty), 3. Will one day grow up to maintain, love and cherish his own wife and children. And contrary to popular belief there are MANY Black men who are this way, don’t believe the propoganda! Kids who are loved will grow up to be normal, responsible adults. Kids who are neglected will often have issues as adults.
And it has nothing to do with education or income level. A man who is doing his job can work for minimum wage at the car wash and get and give all the love and respect from his family. Many great men and women were raised by fathers who had less. If he takes his role seriously and with sincerity, their world is all good…
Shot out to all the brothers who will spend Father’s Day without their children because their exes won’t let them see their kids. Brother’s keep your head up, keep working to contact your children, keep a DIARY, and send them correspondence and gifts regularly. Childhoods are over very quickly and your children will remember that you did all you could to see them when they were little. Happy Father’s Day.
Shot out to all the sisters who use the courts, strategic relocations, new boyfriends and husbands, LIES, police reports and CPS to keep your baby daddies out of your children’s lives… And then run around calling them “deadbeat Dads”. Same for you women who collect child support and still keep the fathers away. Or deny access when Dad can’t afford to pay… Shame on you.
I don’t really have a lot to say today. Mustafa Akamo had been a single Dad for the most of the last 12 years, but now that the kids live with their mothers (long story), days like today are not fun… I have to celebrate Father’s Day with the children when I can see them, and often separately, since both Mothers have to agree to the same day (and for the third year in a row, they don’t). So I will celebrate with my 5 year old tomorrow, and with the 11 and 12 year olds next week. Sad story, but c’est la vie.
Women must understand how valuable their children’s fathers are. A father is a little girl’s first crush EVER. A father is also a boy’s first Superhero. When you deny a father–regardless of the reason barring abuse and safety–you are turning your sons and daughters into dysfunctional, insecure, out-of-balance adults. Even a Father who has allowed himself to get fat deserves time with his kids. Even a cheater deserves time with his kid (after all, he betrayed YOU, not your child). Even a father who is not working, or can’t manage his money well, deserves time with his kid. And most of all, your children deserve time with their fathers. Stand in the way of this relationship, and you tell the world that something is also out of balance with you.
Other than that, there are so many good fathers out there enjoying time with their kids, married or not. I salute you, I salute the mothers who support this relationship. I salute the fellow Dads who don’t get to see their children and fight with every breath in their bodies to make it happen.
And yes, there are many brothers out here ignoring their children. But we talk about them enough on this blog today, so on this day we will not give those insignificant mother fuckers any attention.
Thank you for visiting my blog.