Grown-ups In Training

My dad often says that his generation fucked up my generation. There’s a lot of truth in that.

My father’s generation of Black folks grew up with nothing. They grew up watching their strong fathers give up their seats to weaker white men. They saw their strong mothers being called “girls” by younger white women and treated as inferiors. They literally had to fight to be accepted and any show of indominance could lead to losing your life. They grew up poor. They went to college and often had to take low paying jobs because of racism. They have countless uncles who were killed by white men for sport, aunts who were raped, even some of my father’s generation were the products of such rapes. And, if you can try to imagine this–you couldn’t call the police if you were raped by a white man. Do that and find one of your brothers come up missing…

This was the horror–the very real horror–my father was raised on just a little over 40 years ago. When he went to college in Hampton University, Virginia, it was a scary experience. Virginia to this day is a racist place. 50 years ago it was worse. White men didn’t go to jail for killing black people in those days, and if someone lost a personal item–they could just blame it on a black man or woman and you were going to jail. (still happens today, people are just in denial about it now and it doesn’t happen that often)  Many of you think shit like this only happens in history books and movies. But my friends, talk to your parents and grandparents. Talk to your black friends–this ordeal is only one generation away.

I will spare you another Black history lesson today; but be warned! We will return to this subject again soon. I will need for you to understand the source of all this crazy shit Black folks have been through. It was traumatic and can drive a nigger crazy. So the next time you shake your head at these young fools in the street acting up, understand that there is a reason for this craziness. You try living through a 7-generation Holocaust and then raise normal children…

Anyway, my father’s generation was the first generation of many Black families to be able to work a job that paid above minimum wage. They were the first generation to step out of the slums and into the middle class. The 70s marked the first time a Black man could tell his White neighbor to kiss his ass and shut up–and not get killed for it. It was the first time a Black man could walk through the front door of a store with his wallet in hand, and tell his kids, “pick out what you want.”

And pick, we did. Black families put themselves in debt trying to give their children the “good life” and offer what they themselves could never have as children. I had heard quite a few say that “no child of mine will work with dirty hands”. We thought we were being “as good as white folks” by allowing our children to be lazy and spoiled, while we slaved away at work–providing for them. The better dressed our children were, the better colleges they went to, the bigger cars we drove–all spelled success.

So we succeeded. We succeeded in giving our kids “stuff”. We taught them to acquire, and acquiring was how we rated our sense of self-worth. We taught them to use the system, to apply for student loans, to get the public assitance system to finance our kids if we didn’t have jobs, to use EEO when someone on the job pissed us off, to file for Unemployment Insurance and Fair Employment when we got fired, to use the legal system and plea bargaining when we fucked up. And when anyone said our children did something wrong, we covered for them. We mortgaged the house to get the big-shot lawyer to keep them out of college. We told our boys they were good men when they were really deadbeat dads. We took care of our grandchildren when our daughters had (another) baby/babies out of wedlock.

What happened?

We stopped raising our children, that’s what happened. Some of us forget that raising children requires more than feeding, clothing and loving them. We must also teach them to become responsible, independant adults who hold themselves accountable for their own actions. It seems that we were trying to undo all of the poverty our families experienced, that became the focus of our families and not raising and teaching them.

There were other mistakes made by the previous generation:

  • We divorced like crazy. How can you keep a family together when it’s torn apart?  Not only did it tear the children apart emotionally and psychologically, but financially it destroyed our potential.
  • Alcohol and drugs. There is no such thing as “harmless” use of alcohol and drugs; or “use in moderation”. Okay, I use cocaine, but only sometimes. It is bad for your health, and it made it easy for the children to dabble. Hey, since mom and dad did it, how can they correct me?
  • Kids never learned to struggle. One of the most irritating things about Jews is that they are constantly keeping everyone around them hostage with guilt about the Holocaust. But that’s also the strongest thing about them too. They never forgot where they came from, and why they must excel. Today’s black children (even many of the adults) are both ignorant and apathetic about the Black struggle. There is no sense of responsibility or duty to “their people”. It’s easy for young black men to fuck up, because they don’t have a good reason for getting it right. Those who know, only use our struggle as a crutch for failure, instead of using it as a stepping stone. We must educated our kids and give them a sense of purpose.
  • We seem to think that the struggle is over. I don’t need to expound on this; use your imagination why this notion is foolish.

Young people have to learn how to cook, clean, take care of their hygiene. They need a sense of fiscal responsiblity. They must have a strong spiritual base. They must learn to value education and vocational skills. We must teach them to raise families and foster marital unions. We have to treat it as more than just full-time babysitting; we are raising young grown ups, and we only have 18 years to get them to pass the test.

If your sons and daughters are still moving back home at 25, and they can’t wipe their own asses, if they push off the responsibility of raising their children to you… you probably fucked up in raising them.

But don’t get mad at Mustafa Akamo, just do something about it. Complete their training.

Thanks for visiting my blog.

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Filed under Message to the Black Man

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