No Scrubs

Remember TLC’s song “No Scrubs”? For those that may need a reminder, here is a video, followed by the lyrics:

A scrub is a guy who thinks he’s fly
And is also known as a buster
Always talkin’ about what he wants
And just sits on his broke ass
So (no)

I don’t want your number (no)
I don’t want to give you mine and (no)
I don’t want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don’t want none of your time and (no)

[Chorus:]
I don’t want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best friend’s ride
Trying to holler at me
I don’t want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best friend’s ride
Trying to holler at me

But a scrub is checkin’ me
But his game is kinda weak
And I know that he cannot approach me
Cuz I’m lookin’ like class and he’s lookin’ like trash
Can’t get wit’ no deadbeat ass
So (no)

I don’t want your number (no)
I don’t want to give you mine and (no)
I don’t want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don’t want none of your time (no)

[Chorus]

If you don’t have a car and you’re walking
Oh yes son I’m talking to you
If you live at home wit’ your momma
Oh yes son I’m talking to you (baby)
If you have a shorty but you don’t show love
Oh yes son I’m talking to you
Wanna get with me with no money
Oh no I don’t want no (oh)

 

So, I’m just curious…. what happened to that? Why is it that when a sister requires a man to have his own, to be “bout it-bout it”, and pay his way–and hers–is she labeled a gold digger?  I mean, she is only asking a man to be–well–a man, after all. How can you be a man when you gotta turn to Momma to pay the bill when the check comes? Or you have to drive her car because yours don’t work (or worse:  don’t exist)? The Black man did better when our women demanded that we be men. But at some point, brothers got sloppy and let their game slide. And now we end up with brothers who act like boys:  They look like grown men, but if you look at their wallets and what they actually own, they look like college students living in the dorm. Except they’re not in college. And instead of a dorm, they live with their mother. Or their woman. Notice I said “woman”, not “girl”. Because a MAN will refer to his woman as a “WOMAN”, but a BOY will call her a GIRL. He calls himself a “player”, because he’s still a kid playing a game, pretending to be a man. In that case, when Buford and the boys decides to go back to the 50s and call a Black man a “boy”, he’s telling the truth.

Why are we going backwards, family? How can sisters expect a man to marry her and take care of her and the kids in the 70s, and by the 90s all he needs to do is lay the pipe (cause she got her own money), and then by the Y2K men ain’t shit? How the heck did THAT happen?

I’ll tell you.

Ladies, YOU did it. You fucked off the baby’s father back in the day with that “I don’t need a man” garbage. Independent woman. You coddled your boys, doted on them and raised a generation of momma’s boys who couldn’t even pee straight. And when they peed on the back of the toilet, YOU cleaned it. And the two things you failed to do–raise you boys and get a man to teach them how to be men–allowed him to be Mommy’s baby boy until it was no longer cute. And before you get mad about me saying you didn’t raise your sons, listen to this… Feeding them and loving and dressing them up them does not equate to raising a boy. Protecting him when he messes up–like bailing him out of jail, siding with him against his baby’s mother when he wasn’t man enough to marry her or pay child support, cosigning his fat ass ride when he doesn’t even put money aside for his little boy or little girl, even telling people the judge screwed him over when it was clear that your son is a criminal–made him less of a man. He never learned to take responsibility. He never learned to rely on no one but himself and God. You taught him that he is still a “good man” when you know damn well your son is a piece of shit and a dead beat dad who womanizes. There was no accountability for his actions, and dressing him up like a fly ass monkey with the latest fashions and the fresh hair cut and the rims on his car still means that he is a grown ass boy and a monkey.

When a child screws up, its because he wasn’t raised right. Ain’t no such thing as “I raised him right, but he still…” nothing. If he is a deadbeat Dad, there is a flaw in how you raised him and you must not tolerate anything less than what God intended for him. So keep paying his child support for him. Keep telling people your granddaughter’s mother is a whore when it’s really your son that’s the failure. You might as well move him in and marry his ass because I can almost guarantee you that neither you nor him know what a family looks like and will probably ever be in a successful marriage.

And while I’m at it–the same goes for you sisters that married a dude (or live with a dude) that is not fathering your boys. Even if your boys are grown, his priority should be to form a relationship with your sons and be of service. Guidance and instruction and protection. If anyone should be bailing your son out of trouble it should be him–with a stern warning that he must pay it back, never do it again, and grow the hell up. But I am pretty sure that your husband didn’t do that, and that’s why your son never bonded with him. And he probably is angry. Either way, he never learned to be man and supposedly, you have a man living in the house.

Now your son is supposed to be fully grown, he might be 25, 35, or 45. But he still ain’t shit compared to your Dad or your grandfather. What happened? It ain’t what happened, it’s what didn’t happen. At this age, he should be leading a family and teaching and providing, but he’s not because he can’t. Damn shame.

Honey, you raised a scrub. And now these young sisters are having their children by scrubs, and the Black man–the REAL man–is an endangered species. You must demand that your boys be men. You must demand that your men be men. And us men need to mentor other boys to become men. Because right now, everyone’s busy playing and pretending. You chose career and image over substance, and now we don’t have enough substance in the Black community to keep our families together.

The solution, you say? Stay tuned. I have a plan.

Thanks for visiting my blog.


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1 Comment

Filed under Marriage + Love

One response to “No Scrubs

  1. allways/candythepoetress

    ❤¸.•*””*•.¸❤ i like this! SO TRUE KING! i AM NOT raising a scrub! He does what A MAN is SUPPOSE 2 DO! …. awesome write king! xoxoxo

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