How to Deal with an Ex that Likes to Fight

I don’t know if you can tell, but this is a subject that I hold dear to my heart (yuck!) and have a lot of experience with. Lord knows what it is about me, that although I meet all kinds of women with all types of temperaments, I only seem to marry the ones with the hot temper. AND, they are the kind of women who don’t let me see that temper until we’re married.

Or is it that I get married too soon? 😉

Well, once the inevitable happens–cause you know us brothers don’t put up with SHIT these days–you break up, and now that you don’t have to listen to the bullshit, she (or he) feels like they are going to give you a piece of their mind every time you get together. So what do you do? I mean, whether or not you have children, property, or unresolved issues–you are no longer attached. So that means, you have the option of hanging up the phone, going home, ignoring the emails and texts. Why, my brother–why, my sister–are you listening to the yapping?

Let me tell you a story. Recently, I was getting wore out by both of my children’s mothers. One was texting me to death, the other was emailing me hate letters. While whining to my sister about it, she made a point that she often makes–which I normally deny–that they just want some attention and even negative attention in the form of an argument makes their day. So this day, I committed myself to ignoring the both of them, and letting them know that I was planning to end all communication when they got this way… and guess what. After a few attempts to reach me, both of them stopped. I actually told my baby’s mother that I was sick of her, and was planning to move out of state–even out the country–and she could have the baby all to herself, since she was constantly denying me access to him, and that I would form my relationship with him when he was grown. I told the both of them that I no longer wished to speak to either of them ever again. They treat me as a deadbeat Dad, so I’m going to show them what a deadbeat Dad is.

I love it. Both got apologetic. Both calmed the fuck down and got respectful. And both have lain the hell off of me. I see my baby boy whenever I want now. What the hell.

I’ve concluded that my sister was right. When I’m done with a broad, I loathe speaking to her. But when I still love a woman, I call her all the time. The difference is that I treat all my women–team members as well as exes–well all the damned time. So I rarely get resistance when I do call them. But my exes don’t know how to treat a brother (which is why their asses are exes) and so, when they contact me, it’s an unpleasant experience. They realize it, and the only way they know how to communicate with me is by being a fucking bitch about it. When I say that I’m fed up and will not be controlled through my children, and do not want to ever hear their voices again, they panic and drop the crazy-bitch thing. I don’t fucking get it, but I get it.

Don’t give them the time of day and either they will get to stepping, or they will give you want you want to get what they want:  attention.

My big kids’ mom, I hate to fucking death. I don’t even hate George Bush that damned bad. She will never get an audience with me unless one of the kids needs something. But at least by saying that I am going to the Carribean (because I will pick up and move in a minute and she knows it), she realizes she won’t have me around, so she knows when to shut the fuck up. I can almost guarantee the same will be for you.

But one of the rules of power is that you never make a concession or a threat that you have no intention of keeping. If you say, Bitch I will never speak to you again, but you come over and fuck when she calls you… she will never believe you. You have to say what you mean (or threat it) and mean what you say. I would never leave my kids, but I will take them and leave town if I have to; I’d rather die or go to jail than ruin my health over some broad I’d rather never see again. When you tell them “don’t call me again”, don’t take their calls. They’ll know you mean business.

Good luck, and thanks for visiting my blog.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “How to Deal with an Ex that Likes to Fight

  1. While whining to my sister about it, she made a point that she often makes–which I normally deny–that they just want some attention and even negative attention in the form of an argument makes their day.

    Your sister is perceptive and what she is aligned with the adage that “bad press is better than no press.” ^_^

    And, some people would rather be hated than ignored. Being despised and belittled requires a lot of energy, indicating that the recipient of the strong negative emotions was on the mind and heart of the person doing the despising. Being ignored cries of indifference.

    Personally, I’d rather someone feel ambivalent than any strong, negative emotion.

    • Thank you, and I agree!

      I was thinking about the days when I was a kid with a crush on a girl. I’d rather have her irritated by me (but still talk to me, chase me, fight with me) than simply not exist to her. I think many of us who had no social skills went through that stage.

      But unlike my exes, most of us grew up.

      Thanks for commenting!

  2. It is a thin line between love and hate both are strong emotions, but you are correct in that children often practice negative attention…and in maturity this should not exist…both men an woman play the negative attention game

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