How to Be a “Real” Man

Just some thoughts. I thought I’d make it a note so that I don’t lose it on the wall. Feel free to chime in.


BTW, you’re not going to agree on everything I have to say. So be it, and don’t feel bad about disputing me, you might convince me. But in the Black community, there is an absence of a good definition for what manhood is all about. For some reason, even our WOMEN don’t know how to recognize a man. Just looking at how every broad out here wanted “thug love” over true manhood back in the 90s, and now they are bitching and moaning because (1) ain’t no men out here taking care of business, (2) you son is a piece of shit, (3) you STILL ain’t married, and (4) there appears to be a shortage of good men out here.


Well, all you need a man for is dick… remember? Don’t cry about it now, Miss “I-got-a-job-my-own-house-and-my-own-pussy”. Y’all started this shit.


So now, we have players out here fronting manhood, sisters falling for the okie doke, boys not knowing what to do once they start looking like a man and at the age that supposedly means he’s a man, and our community suffers because the ones who are supposed to be the providers, maintainers and protectors and educators of our community can’t perform. So basically we have grown ass boys trying to do the job of a man. And your daughters ain’t got a chance.


Now, let’s start with a good definition of what manhood is all about. Like I said, if I’ve missed anything feel free to add to the list:

  1. men are unselfish. the kind of guy who will wear raggedy T-shirts with a gravy stain, so that his wife and kids can dress in nice stuff (totally my Dad… who used to embarrass me as a teen with how he dressed, but still bought me the “fly gear” i wanted. Love you Dad!)
  2. they are hard-working. he don’t whine about being tired when there’s kids that need to be tucked in, dishes to be washed, or bills to be paid. if he don’t make enough money on the job, he’s the kind of person who gets a second one. My father kept a second job my entire childhood all the way until my younger brother got to college. He EARNED his retirement.
  3. he has a spiritual base. his kids follow his wife, his wife follows him, he follows God. You can’t go wrong with a GPS like that.
  4. he is a man of his word. if he tells his son that he’s going to get him that new iPhone, he busts his ass to make sure that his promise was not a lie. EVERYONE can count on him to keep his word.
  5. he is happy having a little for himself, but wishes for abundance for everyone else–including his friends.
  6. he eats last. my grandfather use to sit in the kitchen and watch me and my siblings eat dinner, and then he ate what was left. that is, until I realized what he was doing, and made sure we always left him something. he use to say a skinny man with chubby children meant he was a good father. I completely understand now.
  7. he is easy on his family and friends on all matters except matters of ethics and religion. he accepts their faults, is patient in how he helps them resolve them, but lays the smack down on them when they are corrupt, dishonest and disobedient to God.
  8. not only does he protect his family physically, he protects their reputation, their souls, and their honesty. he protects himself and his family from the temptations that ruin us
  9. he is generous. he shares what he has, and is committed to making people around him happy
  10. he makes people feel empowered and optimistic, even when things aren’t going well. When he says, “trust me”, people do
  11. he respects people, even those who are in a lower caste. but he respects himself enough not to belittle himself around any man–regardless of social status, position of authority, or wealth
  12. people respect him and his opinion
  13. he is strong enough to admit his faults and is constantly working to improve himself
  14. he values what people think of him and conducts himself accordingly
  15. he makes the people around him feel good about themselves
  16. he does good deeds every day, and does not brag about them
  17. ** people benefit by knowing him.**
  18. he is brave and courageous. notice I did not say “fearless”. fearlessness and bravery are two different things. fearless is self-explanatory. courage means your fear does not paralyze you. learn it.
  19. people feel safe around him
  20. he is humble and confident that God is pleased with him. You must have both. You can be rich and powerful, but also know that God is not pleased with you.
  21. he leaves his woman and children feeling 100% satisfied with him. there is no void when your father and husband is a real man. As a matter of fact, your boys want to be like you, your girls want to marry a man like you, and your woman could never replace you.
  22. he is chivalrous, just, honest, reliable, strong, caring, intelligent, and respectable


you might want to print this out and study it. comments?


Filed under Marriage + Love

2 responses to “How to Be a “Real” Man

  1. “he leaves his woman and children feeling 100% satisfied with him. there is no void when your father and husband is a real man. As a matter of fact, your boys want to be like you, your girls want to marry a man like you, and your woman could never replace you.” — AND THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS! I promise you said a MOUTHFUL in JUST THAT THERE! I am SOOOOO sharing this one!

  2. DivineLINE Inspirations

    Snap snap snap I enjoyed reading this, ain’t nothing but the TRUTH!

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